After the dull, time-wasting Garden State, I continued my 2004-movie marathon with Sideways. Starring Paul Giamatti, who marvelously played Pigvomit in Howard Stern's Private Parts, I expected at least some value from it.

In the first hour, the movie managed to tell me this: Pigvomit is a divorced alcoholic and an annoying wine snob. Pigvomit's friend is a fun-loving party guy who wants to party before he gets married in a week.

That's it. I picked that up from the preview. I didn't need an hour of film to tell me that.

Every scene is the same. Every line is the same. Nothing gets accomplished. No character traits are developed beyond the basics. Absolutely nothing was accomplished during the first hour that encouraged me to continue watching the movie.

So I didn't.

At least I didn't waste two hours on it.

Acting

Everyone else was dull and unmemorable, but it was slightly entertaining to see Pigvomit playing someone else. He's a good actor. Unfortunately, he was the victim of awful writing.

Plot

There was a plot? Well, it certainly didn't happen in the first hour.

Characters

Boring and flat. Each line was predictable. Did they collaborate with the writers of Garden State?

Overall

Poor Pigvomit. His acting talent has been completely lost in a bad movie.